• Manufacturer: Phat Mojo / Loot Crate
• Released: 2017

I have seen a few T-shirts with variations of the ‘Queen Takes Bishop’ pun printed on them. It’s an ideal gag; and well suited to popular apparel.  It was simply a matter of time before someone stepped forward to apply the quick and punchy gag to some form of 3D merchandise. So here it is. Sadly, appearing in a not so glorious presentation that really fails to do the gag justice.

‘Queen Takes Bishop’ was one of the inclusions of Loot Crate’s ‘ROBOTIC’ themed September 2017 subscription package. It was the first in a brand new series of 3 inch tall mini figure line featuring dueling characters from popular entertainment properties. I have no idea what the other items in this series are – or will be – but after this example, I really don’t care. Needless to say, I’m not altogether impressed with the item.

Standing at just 3 inches tall isn’t really a problem. Many a good item can be found in such a diminutive size – but good creativity and attention to detail can mean a lot when presentation is compromised by lack of size; and this figure just misses out on what it needs to be a must have item.

Inside the box, you’ll find a plastic bag with all the parts ready for assembly. There’s 7 pieces altogether and they fit together with ease and you won’t have any trouble working out how the figure goes together without any instructions. Once together and mounted on its stand, the connections are firm and strong. You won’t need glue. Construction is as straight forward and fun as you would want it to be. Nice. That’s a great start – but unfortunately, it goes downhill from there.

As is implied by the title of the figure, it consists of ALIENS’ android Bishop being impaled and held aloft by the Alien Queen’s segmented tail. It’s a great idea and not been done before but it could have been executed a lot better. The Bishop component of the figurine is sadly lacking in resemblance of the character seen in the movie. Maybe there was a likeness issue with actor Lance Henriksen that was never resolved. Who knows? The end result is a caricature that only remotely resembles the onscreen character we are familiar with. His disproportionate sized head, weird eyes and mouth shaped to fit a Pez candy don’t help the presentation. There are custom LEGO minifigs with faces better than this.

Bishop’s paint work is rudimentary at best and nothing substantial. His right eye is a little goofy looking and he looks like he should be wearing glasses. Just a few thin black lines to connect the eyes together and you would have the geekiest looking bespeckled android, ever. Actually, this would be an improvement. His blue suit is stained with white Android fluid and some can also be seen on his mouth. That’s a nice touch, I must admit.

As for the Queen, she’s actually pretty cool. The figure is sculpted in such a way it actually does look like Bishop is impaled. This is a good thing. She’s also set up in a dramatic stance with her head looking over her right shoulder at her recently acquired target and the grimace she displays in silver is the sole paintwork on the character.

Like Bishop, she is also stylised but is somewhat more satisfying in presentation. Much like the Super7 ReAction iteration of the Queen, she’s translated well into a miniature, runtish version of ‘The Bitch’.

There’s also a grey display stand featuring a black and yellow striped highlight. It’s serviceable and Her Royal Highness is confidently seated in place on a pair of pegs with the whole arrangement given a sturdy finish. As this is a figurine – and a small one at that – it possesses no articulation whatsoever.

This figurine is also lacking in one other important area as well. Remember what this item is called? That’s right, it’s called ‘Queen Takes Bishop’. Once outside of its box and assembled, that gag is completely lost. The much needed plaque that could have served to drive this notion home to anyone who sees this item on display is absent.  It’s like a T-shirt with no text where such information is critical to deliver the gag. Just a simple thing like the pun displayed on a small sign mounted on the display stand could have given this modest figure some much needed meaning. After all, it’s a great gag – and it’s completely wasted here.

Overall, this figurine is not something you’ll miss if you don’t have one in your collection. There’s a missed opportunity here and this item is average at best. I really can’t recommend it – but it’s not wholly terrible, either. It just misses out in some areas where a couple small changes could have made a big difference.

SCORE: 5/10

There’s a great idea here but unfortunately, like Bishop, you too might feel stabbed in the back due to the underwhelming presentation of this item.

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