Snailiens. You know these weird things are going to exist, right? That is, snails that have somehow been mashed up with Aliens. Don’t ask how it works – how a fachugger is supposed to attach itself to a garden variety mollusc and produce these things is going to remain a mystery, right? Nonetheless, there are such things as ‘Snailiens’. At least as unofficial products. Here’s a pair of them and you can buy these strange wonders online. Let’s take a closer look at these things, shall we? Is this going to get weird? I hope so.
Back in the 1990s, Kenner made an entire range of ALIENS toys based on the most unlikely candidates from the Animal Kingdom. We got Gorilla Aliens, Rhino Aliens, Scorpion Aliens. We got Queen Aliens with dragon wings. There were Arachnid Aliens. Crab Aliens. Nothing was outside the imaginative reach of the designers at Kenner to dream up the weirdest concoction of unlikely mash ups and creations. Mantis Aliens? Yep, that too. Kenner made Mantis Aliens. Just about the only thing they never made were Snail Aliens – or “Snailiens”; and judging by what we see here above, this was a missed opportunity on Kenner’s part that sorely needs to be rectified.
It’s a good thing then that independent artisans with an eye for such opportunities are prepared to step in and fill such voids. Take Ravendark Creations handmade Snailien piece. This static figurine is “cast in durable polyurethane resin and would look great lurking in any home or office. (It) measures 7 inches long, 4.25 inches wide and 3.75 inches tall.” making it a decently sizeable piece. You can purchase one on Etsy and it will make a fine addition for your collection of Aliens. …or snails. …or both if your interests dovetail in this regard.
Just in case you thought “snailiens” was a unique creation, other creative individuals have also tried their hand at the idea of what would a snail/alien hybrid look like. Here’s one cast in copper, also hand made; and being sold by HDcrafts, on Etsy. Here’s some information about this metallic mollusc, “Size: About 60mm (2.4″). Weight: around 250g. Figure Material: Bronze, copper, white copper (copper-nickel alloy). Casting: Lost wax casting. Handmade.” It’s a great looking piece with all those polished curved metallic surfaces showing off some impressive shine.
Have you had enough snailens for one day? Sure, but wait! There’s more. Here’s one created by 3DFactory. This item is an alien snail pen holder – which makes it very useful. The Etsy page this item can be purchased from offers this information, “Beautiful little figurine that can be placed on your desk. It can hold as much a small pencil as a large, fairly thick pen. Length: 3.6 in (92 mm), Height: 2.3 in (58mm), Pencil hole: 0.47 in (12mm). This object is 3D printed with eco-friendly and biodegradable PLA plastic.” I’m sure we could all use one of these nifty little man-eating molluscs to help keep our work spaces better organised.
So there ya go. Just in case you were wondering, yes. Snailens are a thing. They come in all shapes and sizes but what really impressed me was how these artists solved the problem of what a snail crossed with an Alien would actually look like. That, along with the diversity of production techniques and materials used across the three samples here. One is resin cast. Another is cast in bronze and the last one is 3D printed. These aren’t the only snailiens I’ve seen, either. I know of one other snailien currently for ‘snale’ on eBay. There have been other malevolently marvelous movie monster and mollusc miniature mash-ups of note appearing on the internet as well. This list just covers the ones currently available.
-Windebieste.
